


I'm An Independant Civilian and I Don't Need No Superhero

by PessimisticWriter



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angry Keith (Voltron), Garrison trio, Gen, Help, How Do I Tag, Keith Has A Black Belt, Like, M/M, SO, Texan Keith (Voltron), he's super badass too i promise, hunk as a superhero, i guess, i love them, just a couple mentions of keith's good looks, lance as a superhero, lance gets his ear tugged, now I have this, pidge as a superhero, superhero au, take my fragile offering please, the title popped into my mind and wouldn't leave me alone, uh uh uh, very mad, very minor klance, y'all, yeah idk what this is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-21 18:13:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14290524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PessimisticWriter/pseuds/PessimisticWriter
Summary: In which the Garrison Trio star as superheroes, but Keith has a bit of an issue with their methods.





	I'm An Independant Civilian and I Don't Need No Superhero

**Author's Note:**

> enjoy this trash i made at two in the morning when they wouldn't let me sleep.

“Don’t you just love this?” Lance sighed, letting his legs dangle off the side of the building, tall enough that no one would notice them. This really was the life - saving people 24/7, and getting fame for it. Everyone loved them, and Lance would admit that he liked the constant reassurance that he was actually needed - it was something he had battled with himself over for a long time.

“Not really,” Pidge said, her wild hair blowing every which way, obviously not getting that Lance meant ‘I love this life’ not ‘I love this place’ - even if he did, also, like their post at the top of the building. 

“Yeah, uh, I’m with Pidge on this one,” Hunk said, trying desperately not to look over the side of the building, already as green as Pidge’s costume, contrasting greatly against the yellow of his own. “Can we get down?”

Lance sighed, standing up, the blue of his costume blending in with the sky - Lance always preferred to argue that it looked more like the ocean, however - as he looked out across the city for one last moment, about to agree that they should go down, when Pidge interrupted.

“We’re gonna have to. You know Varkon - the ‘mall cop’ that we’ve been trying to get?” Lance and Hunk nodded, and she continued. “I’ve caught an apartment building’s security cameras with him on it.” 

She stood up and Hunk followed suit. They looked great like this - the legendary trio, Blue, Green, and Yellow, ready to go out and catch some bad guys. Lance loved them - even if he had originally tried to convince Pidge to be red so they could be primary colors, but hey, you can’t nail them all. 

“Let’s go,” Lance said, making sure to make it extra dramatic, just the way Pidge hated it.

Sure enough, Pidge groaned, and blasted off, leaving the other two in the dust, but not for long. 

They flew across the sky in streaks of their respective colors, each getting out their respective weapons - Lance’s being the gun. He was their Cool, Ninja, Sharpshooter™, and while the other two would argue, Lance knew that they secretly agreed with him.

They arrived quickly, Pidge pointing out the building and apartment window, but not quick enough - they were never quick enough, the villain always managed to do some sort of damage before they arrived. 

“We’re going to have to burst through the wall!” Lance said, ever dramatic. 

“What? But won’t that-” Hunk said, only to be cut off by Pidge.

“We don’t know where the door is and finding it and knocking might waste precious time. So as much as I hate it . . . Lance is right.” 

Lance loved it when Pidge backed him up. He could never go wrong then. “Alright then team, on three!” 

He paused, waiting for them to get closer, waiting for Hunk’s nervous, “Lance-” before yelling, 

“Three!” 

They burst into the apartment building, Hunk’s blaster easily destroying the wall, and they burst in, weapons up, ready to fight - for all his dramatic flair, Lance really did care about the people - only to be facing with a man, with a mullet, slowly turning red as he stared at them and his broken wall. 

Lance surveyed the area quickly. There didn’t seem to be much destruction, only a couple books scattered here and there, one broken dish in the center of the room. Varkon himself was knocked out cold with a bleeding head wound right next to the door. 

The guy himself was much more interesting, and dare he say, good-looking. Almond eyes that somehow managed to look violet, porcelain skin with sharp cheekbones, and black hair in a mullet despite the guy not looking more than seventeen, around his age. How did he manage to make a mullet look so good? That should be illegal, nothing should make a mullet look good. 

Lance quickly shook himself out of his thoughts - this was not the first time he had been distracted by a pretty person - as mullet-man exploded, screeching, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! What did you do?!” 

Hunk’s eyes were too blown for him to be to much of a help - Lance knew Hunk’s tells - and Lance was about to answer despite dreading it, he knew he would either stutter over his words or flirt incessantly, when Pidge answered for him, ever the level-headed one, “We saw a dangerous criminal entering your house. Are you hurt?” 

“Do I look hurt?” Mullet had a crazed look his eyes as he waved a hand, gesturing to his body, and Lance, for the first time, noticed some sort of knife in his hand, and his eyes widened to the size of Hunk’s. Obviously, this was not some sort of civilian in distress.

“Uh, we thought you might need some help. You know, being superheroes and all. Thought you might, uh, appreciate it. Seems like you got it handled, though, so, we’ll just take this guy, and get out of your hair, right?” Lance cursed his stutter, but even so, he offered a tentative smile to Mullet as his two teammates nodded.

He made to walk over the still out cold body of Varkon on the floor, only to register a sharp pain in his ear. He barely managed to turn his head to see Mullet grasping his ear, and he only had a second to wonder how someone as short as Mullet could reach his ear before his ear and the rest of his face was pulled down. He yelped and Mullet yelled directly into his ear, “Some superheroes you are! You broke my wall! I have a door! You-” He shook his head, waving around his knife some more, and Lance narrowly dodged his hand before it could hit him. 

Hunk finally snapped out of it. “Hey, could you put the knife down? Or more preferably, let La- uh, Blue go?” 

“You know what? No! Because you destroyed my house! And- and I didn’t even ask for this house. I’m a damn black belt, I don’t need your help! I fenced in high school! I can use a knife, I know self-defense, I’m not a damsel in distress for you to save! I- you-” Pidge interrupted, but didn’t get far Mullet was on a roll, face as red as the blood that was still dripping from Varkon’s slight head wound. 

“Y’all-” Oh god, Mullet was Texan, too. “Are going to be paying for these repairs! And the hotel stay while this gets fixed up! I- seriously, what the hell?!” 

Lance finally managed to get a word in as Mullet suddenly stopped, seeming to actually realize that they had, in fact, destroyed his house. “Could you let me go?” he squeaked. 

Mullet gave his ear one more painful tug, before pushing him away. Lance landed on the ground, butt up, and he quickly stumbled to his feet before Mullet could grab him back and retreating back to the safety of his teammates. 

“Look, we’re sorry we destroyed your house-” Pidge said, as Hunk tended to Lance, who was rubbing his ear and whimpering. 

“Sorry doesn’t cut it,” Mullet snarled. Honestly, this guy had to calm down. Although, Lance thought, he was right, they did technically destroy his house . . . Most people were too grateful to care about any destruction, but apparently this guy was the one exception.

“But we can’t-” Pidge tried to continue, but Lance could sense all the danger signs on Mullet’s face and quickly intervened, still rubbing his ear.

“Yeah, of course we’ll pay for it!” Pidge and Hunk both looked at him incredulously, but he stoutly ignored them. “We’re sorry we broke the wall, of course we’ll pay for it!” 

Mullet looked slightly more satisfied, although his tone was still obviously cross when he said, “Do you guys have phones?” 

“What?”

“Do you have phones? I’ll need a way to keep in contact with you, won’t I? Plus, I’ll have to text you the bill. So, do you have phones?” 

Both Hunk and Pidge looked extremely reluctant to hand over theirs, so Lance, accepting responsibility, fished his phone out from one of the inner pockets of his clothes and tossed it over, praying that Mullet wasn’t angry enough to throw it out a window or something. It certainly seemed like he’d do it if he was angry enough.

Mullet seemed to have released out all his anger on Lance’s ear, however - which still hurt, thank you very much - and he quickly typed out his phone number into Lance’s contacts, and he pulled out his own to do the same, while the rest waited awkwardly. 

Varkon groaned from the ground, and Lance jumped - he had almost forgotten Varkon was there. He began to sit up, only to meet Lance’s fist and fall right back down. He really was out of it - Lance wondered what Mullet had done to him. 

Lance turned back to Mullet, he was holding out the phone, contact saved. 'Keith', the name said. Sounded Texan enough to Lance. (He ignored the second part of the name, 'the one with the destroyed wall').

“Alright, so, uh,” Hunk said awkwardly, and Pidge nodded along with him. “Are we done here? Because, we’ve got people to save, and, uh, stuff.” The two flew off with the pathetic excuse and Varkon in tow without waiting for an answer, and Lance couldn’t blame them - he didn’t want to get yelled at by an angry Keith any longer than he had to. 

Lance pointed at his friends’ backs, muttering something that even he couldn’t hear, before zooming away after them, not willing to wither under Keith’s glare any longer. 

“So . . . That was bad?” Pidge said quietly as they returned to their rooftop post. 

“Yeah, let’s not do that again,” Lance said, reaching a hand up again to absentmindedly rub at his swollen ear. 

An odd grin stretched across his face, however, as he realized what had happened. Yes, he had gotten yelled at, gotten his ear almost tugged off, and now had what was likely more than a couple thousand dollars in debts(which he could hopefully pay off without paying anything - he was a superhero after all), but he also had gotten the number of an unfortunately good-looking guy, even if he had destroyed said person’s wall. 

A personal benefit, he supposed, as he watched the other two groan over the large amount of debt they were in now.


End file.
